ulch

i have a test tomorrow. i am not ready for it. i don't want to study for it anymore. i'm sick of being miserable. i really dislike houston. according to polina i can get tickets to london in march for $250. i really want to go, except the tickets are from jfk. i miss living in the capital of the world. i feel like my life was probably better there, although thats probably not really true. thats probably me just being unhappy right now with a whole greener grass attitude. right now in thinking of what i could do to make this better, there are certain things that come to mind, but from what i can gather, they depend more on other people than they necessarily do on myself. the whole misery loves company bit is like, getting old, too. i should probably stop hating happy people. its a good thing kathie lee gifford isn't in this room right now, although i'm not sure how happy she is anymore either. i probably shouldn't take my bad moods out on people who don't deserve it. in reality i shoudln't take them out on people who do deserve it either, but thats a bit trickier. god, i really wish that beth was working now.

i think i want to cry.